InterAmerica's Hash 2005 - Day Four - Sunday, September 4

(GPS map here)

The Last Run (for Us)

Sunday morning came early. We had a fine breakfast downstairs, identical to Saturday's. No beer, though. At 9:00 am the voting for the next InterAm location started. Actually, it started with a very nice history of all of the InterAms, by Patchwork. He brought the organizer of each one up on stage. Then presentations by Rumson, Mexico City, and Northern California. The Rumson one was somewhat amusing, but it lasted for a long time. I only got to see the start of Mexico City's, before I had to run upstairs and stuff everything into my hash bag.


I got back down to the parking lot just in time to squeeze onto the last bus for the long run. It was pretty tight, since a lot of people wanted to go, and there were only two buses. One guy actually lay down on the floor and slept all the way there. I was able to squeeze into a seat with Cums on Vacation from the Happy Valley Hash in whatever city Amherst is in. We had run one of her trails the summer before when Highbush and Garfield drove us up from Hartford for a run. We kept ourselves amused all the way there, by singing songs and yelling at the other bus.


I had decided to do the L1 run down near Niagara Falls, because it was the last day, and how long could it be, anyway? It took about an hour and a half to get to the start. We unloaded in a small park, and Hyena gave us 15 minutes of chalk talk. There were five hares (Hired Snatch from Atlanta was one!) and they were determined not to be caught. We gave them a 10 minute head start, and we were off into the woods.

I won't go into much detail on the trail, except to say that it was good. It was almost entirely in the woods, and involved a great deal of climbing and descending. There was a much-needed beer stop a couple miles in. Then more woods, and then we came to a stream. Or maybe it was a small river. There was the usual hesitation where you try not to get your shoes wet, until it became obvious that we were going to be running down the middle of the stream. River. We finally came to the bottom of a big waterfall. It was probably two hundred feet high. There was a bag of beer that the hares had lowered from the top. Warm. But still good. There wasn't much of a pack at this point, just a stream of hashers coming and going. When I got cold enough from the waterfall spray I turned and headed out on the checkback 10.


The end was another mile or so, in a park full of people. We had a pavilion, and the hares were cooking sausages and burger. And we had a keg. One of the hares went around and told some of the families that we were going to be singing some rude songs soon, and a lot of them packed up and moved. Eventually all of the pack arrived and ate, and we started the circle. And then the keg blew. Well, it was only a half-keg, some odd Canadian size. So all there was, was canned down-down beer. Everyone battled to commit the most egregious hash violation, just to get a beer. Hyena's kid got named, and some woman who had been hashing for seven years without getting a name. Then suddenly it was time to get on the buses and go.

Here's a TopoFusion representation of the trail. Once again, there are no aerial photos of this part of Canada. But the elevation profile is interesting. Some of those portions where it goes straight up are from when we were climbing stairs.

It was a long ride back. There was lots of traffic, so it took over two hours. Everyone was fiercely protecting their seats from the ride down, and I couldn't squeeze back in with COV, so I just lay down on the floor and slept. It was okay. Eventually we got back to good old Fort York.

Everyone else was there. We were the last buses in. But at least there was food. I loaded up with chicken, rice, potatoes, bread, and salad. Oh, and a beer. While I was in line one of the servers dumped an entire tray of chicken on the ground. I found a group of PB hashers, and ate with them while we waited for the Miss InterAm competition to start.

There was a nice moment early on when an Atlanta hasher (Dum Buf?) had the mike, and made the mistake of pronouncing "Puerta Vallarta" with the 'LL's. Someone else pointed out that the 'LL's are silent, and Dum Buf justified the error by saying "I can say it however I want. This is America". Except it wasn't. So he parked it on the ice for a while.



Once the Miss InterAm competition got rolling, things got good. There were five(?) women, plus a dude in a lavender jumpsuit who called himself "Patina Bidet". I think it was a little bit of hash history. The judges panel included Jamies and Sh*t Happens, plus three more upstanding citizens. My personal favorite amongst the contestants was KGB, nicely done up in a schoolgirl outfit. I don't know the name of the eventual winner, but she was a tiny, fit woman from Toronto, who won without any nudity. She did have a bikini on. She won by doing yoga poses while drinking cups of beer without using her hands. I present the below photos without comment. Just like the day before, it was getting dark, so the photos are pretty low quality.

Update via email from KGB:
Hey there!!! Thanks for the compliment from Ms. InterAm.
The woman who won was "I'd Do Her" from D.C.

The crowd seemed stacked with D.C. folks, but I truly believe she did a fantastic job, and give her muchos credit for keeping her clothes on. I had initially wanted to go that route, but just really got into it.

KGB


And I applaud your choice.





Once skits were over we loaded up into the buses and headed back to the hotel for the formal ball. Just as our bus was pulling out Sh*t Happens ran up to the back of the bus and opened the door. He grabbed Dribble and hustled him off to the last bus in line, where he had bribed the bus driver to hit a few bars on the way to the hotel.

Back at the hotel we got cleaned up and dressed for the ball. The PBH3 contingent came with grass skirts and Hawaiian shirts. We actually looked pretty good. There was a high percentage of men in ballgowns. Most guys don't look good in a dress, even if they shave their legs and wear makeup. But there were a few.

I don't know where the pictures of the ball are. I'll post them when I find them. I didn't stay too late at the ball, as we had to be up at 4:00am to catch a taxi to the airport. But Circumspector hung out for quite a while. And she woke me up the next morning, too.

Bonus Party Photos